Going On Alone

Vol. 4. No. 7 February 12, 2001
Going On Alone

I met a man last week just a few hours after he had lost his wife of sixty-two years. He apologized for being selfish for
wanting her to stay, yet he also said he knew she was better off. Tears rolled from his eyes as one of our shepherds worded a sweet prayer of comfort for him and his family as he faced the reality that he must go on alone.

I have thought about this gentleman almost constantly since that meeting. I have pondered and tried to imagine what it would be like to say good-by to a companion of sixty-two years? How do you let go? How is he supposed to go on? What is he supposed to do? What is he supposed to think when he gets up this morning and is forced to realize that the woman he has loved since they both were young is no longer with him? What can anyone say to him that can ease the pain of going on alone?

I don't know if I have any great words of wisdom for anyone who has just lost a mate, a mate of sixty-two years, or a mate of only a short time, but there are some things that I have learned from observing couples that have lived long and loved strong.

First, try to live in such a way that there are no regrets. Take advantage of every opportunity you have to be together and every opportunity to strengthen your marriage. Regardless of the length of your marriage, make sure it is full, rich, and alive.

Second, never miss an opportunity to express your love. This is true in any relationship. There is an ache unlike any other ache when you long to say "I love you," and the object of your love is either no longer there to hear the words, or is in such a condition that you don't know if they can hear your words. Simple words that we feel in the depths of our souls, but too often fail to verbalize. Sure, actions may speak louder than words, but the words also speak.

Third, when the end comes, and you are reminded of your vows, "Until death do us part," go on from that day with courage and confidence that God is going with you. I know it is not the one person on this earth who means more to you than all the rest of creation, but it is the One that created all those things. Walk with Him. Talk with Him. Let Him bring you comfort and provide the strength you need to go on alone. He is the only one that can help us do that.

This will be a tough week for many people. This gentleman I mentioned has lost his Valentine. This will the first time others have walked through the card section of the store and realized there is no need to stop. Others are longing for that special person they hope is out there somewhere, but have never found. The best I can offer, and I know it sounds a bit hollow, is to continue to walk with the Lord. If you know someone who is going on alone, reach out to them, share your love with them, put your arms around them, say the words they long to hear as they go on alone.

Enjoy those you love,

[A Norvell Note is a weekly email message from Tom Norvell. Feel free to pass it on to friends, ignore it, ask me to remove you from the list, or simply find some meaningful thought that brightens your day. If you know someone who would enjoy receiving A Norvell Note on a regular basis, please send me their mail address, and I will add them to the list. Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoy it. Visit my website, (c) Copyright 2001]